It’s in your pocket, your bag, your jacket, or mostly likely on your hand. Yes, I’m talking about your phone. The other day I was walking (ok, fine, actually dancing) back from work listening to my latest power song “Upside Down” by Diana Ross and, honestly, it really doesn’t matter if you are dancing: everyone is just looking at their phone. So that phrase of “dance like no one is watching”, well… it is actually true-everyone is looking down into their Instagram feed or whatever.
Yes, yes, of course I also use my phone and I’ve found myself addicted to it at some point. For certain things actually, quite a lot: messaging friends, calling family, and for posting on Instagram. However, and I think here is the most important thing of all: I do this (or at least aim to do this as much as possible) when I am alone, TOTALLY alone. In a way I feel like we sometimes lose the humanity of our social interactions, like the phone is something that can be more important than who you are with or what you are doing (so guilty of being in pigeon pose and checking Instagram-so much about being present, right?).
I see this all the time at work or when I go to restaurants: people leaving their phones out on the table with the screen facing up. Maybe I overreact about this topic. Maybe, but in a way, having your phone out like that sends a signal of “if an update pops up on my phone it is more important that what is going on right now”. Or when you are with someone, they leave for a few minutes, and the first thing you do is to take your phone out. It is like we need to entertain ourselves while we wait. This was such an eye opener for me: why can’t we just enjoy the wait? Most of the things and messages we get on our phone don’t need an immediate response-they can wait. There is no need to check it every 5 minutes.
Oh, and let’s not talk about social media. How it shows a life that is not actually real. We don’t always feel happy and not everyday is an amazing time. We have tough days, we have days where going to bed at 10pm is AMAZING, we have days where we just want to eat chocolate and binge on Netflix for hours. AND as a person who tries to post daily quality content on Instagram, I will say it once again: yoga photography is fun and it is like an art, but I’m not in the zen space always. I do try to be as transparent and true as much as possible in my posts or share something I’ve learned throughout the day. One of the things I’ve been trying to do lately is to have an “offline” day for my mental health: it is so blissful to feel disconnected!
Great, issue identified: now what? How do I really remove the habit of being on it all the time? Well, I propose to you two rules and two questions to ask yourself when you catch yourself reaching for the phone:
RULE #1: If I am at the dinning table (unless I am really waiting for an important call), phones are away.
RULE #2: No phones in bed. I actually saw a video recently about “10 things you shouldn’t do in bed”: one of the items mentioned was to have your phone off while while you are with your babe. Imagine someone calls in the middle of MMMMM… yeah, total vibe killer.
QUESTION TO ASK YOURSELF #1: Close your eyes, take a deep inhale and exhale. Do I really need to look at my phone right now? Am I waiting for an important response?
QUESTION TO ASK YOURSELF #2: Close your eyes, take a deep inhale and exhale. Do I need to look at my phone because I need to see that someone thinks about me and it is a way to validate my self-worth? Darling, you are so much more than you know. And, yes, you are loved and yes, you deserve everything in this life. Likes, comments, or followers do not define you.
I really hope you’ve found this useful, or that at least, it has made you think about your relationship with your phone.
Now, stop reading this, and rock the real world ;)
xx
Irene